LIVE MUSIC: Mickey Avalon @ The Rock and Roll Hotel (NSFA - Not Safe For Anything)

***This review is rated NC-17***

You wouldn’t think that the simple act of wearing clothing would make you over-dressed for a concert, but Tuesday evening at the Rock and Roll Hotel, shirts were a somewhat rare commodity.  Many of Mickey Avalon’s fans took their cues from the oft scantily-clad rapper and wore nothing more than underwear and glitter.  Compared to what was happening on the stage, however, that was mild.  

Since our readers tend to admire music more of the rock, folk, and alt-country persuasion, let me give you a little background on Jewish rapper Yeshe Pearl, known by his fans as “Mickey Avalon.”  To say that Mr. Avalon lived a rough life would be an understatement.  Born to two drug- addict/dealing parents, he followed suit at an incredibly young age.  The story of his youth is riddled with attempts to overcome heroin dependency and death, his father dying in a drunk-driving accident and his sister dying of overdose.   He prostituted himself to finance his heroin addiction, which later became the predominant theme in his music.  

It's in B&W. That means it's ART BITCHES!!!Eventually, Avalon ended up in a halfway house in Los Angeles during which time he met fellow rapper Dirt Nasty who helped him into a rap career.  Avalon released his self-titled debut album in 2006 and began stunning crowds with his on-stage antics, the likes of which would be inappropriate to detail here.  After a production gap his website attributes to “industry red tape,” he recently released a second album, Loaded, and is on tour to support it.  The tour is fittingly sponsored by Jägermeister.

It’s worth mentioning Avalon’s biography because he details—and perhaps mythologizes—his misadventures in his songs.  While it seems that lyrics such as “I'll sperm on your perm, leave cigarette burns on your tits,” are graphic enough to leave an indelible mental image, Avalon has a dancer that acts out scenes beside him onstage.  Tuesday night’s set opened with “Waiting to Die,” and “Mr. Right,” the dancer entering stage right wearing thigh-high boots, fishnet stockings, a black thong uni-tard, and “coke glasses,” while smoking a cigarette.  She provocatively bent over, splayed herself on the ground, and closed the first song on her back in a full split with Avalon on top of her.   She changed outfits several times throughout the show to play off different song themes.  She wore a short, glittery dress and gold necklaces to portray the glamorously wealthy, coke-fiend women to whom Avalon claims to have prostituted himself, and donned a skimpy version of an 80s workout outfit to dance along to Avalon’s big hit, “Jane Fonda.”  Not to be outdone, Mickey Avalon shed clothing throughout the show, ending the evening in his extremely low-rise skinny jeans, the crowd catching many a peak at his ass crack.  

Mickey Avalon making out with EVERY WOMAN IN THE FRONT ROW.Avalon played most everything off his first album and interspersed new tracks.  Unsurprisingly, his shtick is still the same—his new songs are also about sex, drug abuse, sex, and the size of his penis (when having sex).   The crowd seemed just fine with this, and relished the opportunity to brag about what Avalon refers to as his “kosher salami,” singing along in lock step with Mickey through an encore that started with the hit song “My Dick.”  Andre Legacy, the opening act, took over Dirt Nasty’s traditional part in the duet, and the two rap-battled it out, exchanging brags and insults such as, “My dick bench pressed 350/your dick couldn't shoplift at Thrifty” and apotheosizing their genitalia (“PS, we’ve got dicks like Jesus”).   

The evening of debauchery ended with a tribute to MCA of the Beastie Boys who died over this past weekend.  Andre Legacy joined again as the two took the crowd through an enthusiastic cover of “(You’ve Gotta) Fight for Your Right (to Party).”  

Post-show, the people wearing clothes were overheard making remarks such as, “Now I understand why my parents go to church.  I feel like I just spent an hour worshiping the devil.”  Those fans of the no-pants-wearing mindset went upstairs to meet Mickey Avalon and receive the commemorative condoms being handed out at the merch table.  

If the fifteen minutes you just spent reading this made you feel the need to take a shower, you can only imagine what it’s like to see the man, the myth, the legend, Mickey Avalon, live in concert.  

Click on the, um, action below to relive the night in pictures. And don't forget your hazmat suit.